What's going on people? I've spent the day recovering from a very draining evening last night, and I came across a article from the good folks at Verysmartbrothas.com sparked my interest. It reminded me of a similar piece that wrote in early 07' on the fact that platonic relationships do not exist.
Granted my stance has softened slightly since then under the following circumstances:
1. Childhood friends, practically grew up together
Even under this corollary there are still some fuzzy areas. I do have friends that have been around since I could ever remember, that might as well be blood related, and any non-platonic dealings would just be weird. Now there are some people (mostly women) that would say something like "I've know him since Freshman year he's like a brother to me", and my response to that is that it doesn't count. We are all adults here, and with steady supply of the devils nectar, nostalgia, and some type of attraction that is the recipe for sexual relations.
2. One of the friends is an homosexual
This would be the obvious circumstance here... and very little explanation is needed for it. This is the one relationship an girlfriend of mind could have, and me be 100% fine with. They can go shopping, she can even go there late night and hangout, they can even go out of town overnight together and I would have zero issues with it. There is no other case where me as the significant other would allow without having some type of issue with it.
3. Friendship has come full-circle
This is when you've gone from being platonic to not being platonic, then realizing that things were too awkward and didn't fit for anything to come of it, and you become "just friends again". Or if it has been FIRMLY established at the get go, that relationship with that particular person is what it is at that moment, and you have no interest on testing the waters, and you still remain friends then you are legitimate friends. When I say firmly, I mean that the interest from one person to the next has been identified, and the person that isn't reciprocating that same feelings clears the air, leaving no question where she stands. I guess the reason why these kinds of friendships are so beautiful to me is because they are very difficult to find.
If none of those 3 categories doesn't fit your friendship with someone of the opposite sex, you do not have a complete platonic friendship. Even if it platonic on your side of the fence, if you know the other party has interest in you, and you keep them around its because you are taking advantage of that fact. Is that a messed up thing to do? I would say yes if you haven't addressed it, and you continue to lead them along like a puppy on a leash. On the other side of the fence isn't that person's fault that they are in that situation, for not recognizing the signs and addressing the issues? Yes I would agree to that as well. You could say that the person missed the signs, but the law says that ignorance of the law doesn't make you innocent and in relationships this is no different.
So for those that are stuck in limbo in what I call "The Purgatory of box" you may ask is there a way out of it? What is this place and how exactly did you get there? I got you Ya Boi has the answer, tell you how you might have gotten there, and if you can get out. Lets look at each of those questions individually shall we...
How did I get here?
The reasoning to how you wound up in "The purgatory of box/cock" really varies. It can be any and everything from bad breathe to not having a plan for your life. You never really know exactly how it happens it just does. I was talking to my sister yesterday as we were discussing this paradox, and compared it best to a game of NBA 2K. Let's say you played one half of the game right, and you a killing and are up 7 at the half. Then you decide that you want to simulate to the end of the game, and you end up losing by 3. You don't know how it happened all you know is that the computer decided that despite your efforts, you were still going to lose the game. That is how purgatory of box/cock works. It's best not to ask questions and decide how you want to deal with it....
Men have various reasons for women falling to the purgatory, and women have reasons for males falling to purgatory, but how men and women determine this are VERY different.
A quote I read best describes this quagmire and it said, "Guys love what they're attracted to, while women are attracted to what they love". That one quote explains men and women in a nutshell in 140 characters or less.
OK so what do I do? Can I escape?
Do you A. Decide its not worth your time and leave B. Stay and accept your fate (you'll become a go to person or side person if you will) C. Stay and work you way off.
A and B self explanatory, but if you decide to go with the third option you can do that but I will warn you and say your chances aren't favorable. The way you begin to do that, is to not make yourself readily available, and put your best foot forward. Maybe just maybe... they might see those positive attributes you possess and re-consider.
As difficult as the opposite sex is its pretty simple on how to deal with them. Just don't go into these situations expecting to change these people, fellas don't try to use the friend role to get to the box (coming from someone that did that once or twice believe me when I tell you, that isn't a role you want to play if you want to be successful out here), and more importantly just be honest friendship opposite or otherwise put everything on the table. Thoughts??
